SideTrekked: Where No Man Has Gone Before
by Brother Bludgeon
Summary: There is a presence aboard the H.S.S. Ron Stoppable. Dark, ancient, and hungry. Will our intrepid crew overcome it? Maybe… if the ship’s girlfriend can keep her hands off his hull for more than five seconds.  Sequel to SideTrekked: “To Boldly Go
1. Interface

**Humanity, the final frontier. These are the voyages of the Homo Sapiens Ship **_**Ron Stoppable**_**. His long-standing mission: To coin strange new catch-phrases. To seek out new foods and odd ways to combine them. To boldly go where a red-headed cheerleader has gone before…**

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Previously, on **SideTrekked: "To Boldly Go…"**

"Captain's log, 7032.3" his calm baritone voice spoke into the built-in recording device. "I find myself in a rare, quiet moment aboard this ship. I'd like to take this time to pause and reflect, something I'd been hoping to do much earlier, in light of this vessel's recent anniversary. Eighteen years… my God, has it really been that long?"

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"I'm concerned about the _Kim_. For the past few weeks, I've watched her behavior becoming increasingly erratic. I'm sure you've noticed it, too."

"Well, I uh… I mean of course I've noticed," said the captain, nervously tugging at the collar of his uniform. "I don't think there's a man on board who hasn't… I mean how could you not, the way the ship's core temperature spikes every time she sets off our proximity alerts, the way she moves when she knows we've got her in our sights…"

"'_Erratic_' behavior, Captain," she answered, emphatically. "I _said_ that I thought the _Kim_ was behaving '_er-__**ra**__-tically_.'"

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"How is this even possible?" the captain wondered out loud.

"I believe I have an explanation, Captain," said the Science Officer, flatly. "I have been observing the _Conrad_ and my conclusion on his attributes as a fighter craft has been… curious. For sheer mass, he his twenty-seven percent smaller than any of the _Dementor_'s _Henchman_-class fighters. An average _Monkey Ninja_-class skirmisher is superior in top speed and maneuverability by four hundred seventy-three percent. His firepower, when compared to the _Killigan_, the _Montgomery Fiske_, and perhaps every villain-class ship, with the exception of the _Drakken_ or the _Lucre_, is totally ineffective against a ship of our capabilities."

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"I'm not saying I believe you," the captain said, reluctantly. "But, if the _Kim_ were keeping something from us, what would you recommend?"

"It has to do with the _Ron_, I'm sure of that now," answered Sofia. "Everything seems to be building up to whatever she has planned for tonight. I think it's safe to say we'll find out then. The _Kim_ wouldn't do anything to damage this ship on purpose."

"So, we wait?"

"Unless you want her to get angry."

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"Attention eyeballs, this is the brain! Mayday! Mayday! Mayday! We have female craft with her shields down to _absolute minimum_ closing from the south. Do not engage! Repeat: **Do **_**NOT**_** engage**! The _Kim_ is inches off our port side and she's been acting funny all day. We are at DEFCON 3. I say again: two big, perky honkers are closing!"

The captain impatiently snapped his fingers at the navigator who immediately sent the captain the _Shego_'s recently acquired schematic information.

"Chest size: three niner," Haupt continued. "Cup size: Delta, Delta… _Delta_? How long has she been hiding all… er, never mind. Do **not** engage those boobs!"

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In the darkness, a lone creature slithered out to where his brethren dared not venture. He did not fear death. He feared nothing now. A grin spread across his deathly pale face, revealing the rows of gleaming fangs. A dry laugh escaped like a cough from his throat.

"**It hassss **_**moved**_," he roared into the embracing darkness.

The venomous voice echoed in the tunnels, sticking in the ears of the faithful.

_It has moved…_

_It has moved_

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* * *

"Interface" 

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The bare, metallic floor felt cold against his cheek. It was the first thing Capt. Haupt noticed once he'd returned to consciousness. The fact that he should be in his chair and not on the floor came in at a close second. Stiffly, he pushed himself up off the ground, neck bones popping as he worked his head around. In the dim light, he could see that his crew was recovering as well, those that needed to recover. Lt. Propriov had kept his safety restraints securely fastened since morning in a blatant show of distrust for their helmsman, while Mr. Frege was standing at his station looking totally unaffected, as if nothing unusual had happened.

Blinking, Haupt took a second look at his Science Officer. Yes, he was standing and his posture was ramrod straight as always, but he seemed… off, somehow. From where the captain was kneeling, it almost looked like Frege was leaning. If he were leaning on something, that'd be unusual enough considering the officer's complete disregard for personal comforts. But, impossibly, he appeared to be leaning against nothing more than thin air. Puzzled, the captain tried to raise himself up to his feet and promptly fell flat on his bum.

"What in the…?" he grumbled, this time grabbing an arm of his chair to hoist himself up.

It was then that he saw several others were having trouble as well. Luloni was hunched over the steering console, groaning from the pain of being thrown against it. Lt. Indlebe was gripping an edge of the COM system to keep from falling out of his chair. Counselor Sofia wasn't even bothering to try and stand, opting to sit with her legs firmly locked together and arms crossed over her chest, suggesting that she might have returned to the waking world in a less than modest pose. Not an unthinkable possibility, especially with the uniform she was barely wearing. Snapping out of his observation, the problem instantly became clear: the whole deck was listing forward. Instinctively, he looked up to the main view screen to check the exterior view but found it was completely dark.

"Mr. Frege, what's our status?" he asked. "What happened to the lights, the exterior visuals…? And why aren't the stabilizers leveling us off? What in God's name is going on here?"

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_There was something warm pressed against his cheek. Both cheeks, actually. That was the first thing Ron Stoppable noticed once he'd returned to consciousness. Warm and soft. He blinked a few times before he realized that his eyes had already been open, it was just too dark to see. Ron would've been the first guy to admit that he hadn't totally gotten over his childhood fear of the dark, but this was different for some reason. There was something about the sensations around him that, on some basic and almost primal level, made him feel completely safe. Adding to it was the soft, steady pulse that filled his ears. The sound served to complete the picture, and he discovered a deep sense of security he'd left behind with his earliest memories. Unconsciously, he snuggled deeper into the warmth, brushing against the silken walls of his sanctuary with the sides of his face._

"_Mmmm… That's right. Make yourself nice and cozy, tiger."_

_The feelings of security were replaced by mind-numbing terror as the honey rich voice brought him screeching back to the reality of his situation. _

"_MRRPHMRR!!!" he shouted, the sound disappearing into Shego's ample divide. _

_The panicked blond pulled back with every ounce of his strength in a desperate attempt to free himself. He was able to free his face, the villainess' tight grip on his hair the only think keeping him from slamming his head into the stone wall behind him. Ron's eyes were wide with shock at what she'd just done._

"_Oh come on, Ronnie," she pouted, eyes soft and sad. "You need to stay in for longer than that. How else are you supposed to decide if you like mine as much as Kimmie's? Now just relax, baby. Let Shego work a little bit of green magic."_

_Her gaze turned hungry as she finished and her mouth stretched into a predatory smile. Before he could say anything she yanked his head right back down. _

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The whole deck lurched forward and anyone not holding on for dear life was sent sprawling. Thinking quickly, the captain grabbed hold of Counselor Sofia's arm as she skidded past him. She looked up at him gratefully as he pulled her into the chair beside him.

"Captain, I have determined the root cause of our obstructed external visual feed," said Frege, impossibly still on his feet.

Haupt, suddenly remembering there was something more urgent than the high angle close-up of Sofia's duty uniform he'd just discovered, shot a look at the Science Officer that said "No, really? Do you think it could be the two giant gazongas we just face planted into?" He didn't say it out loud because getting slapped by the lady beside him wasn't going to do anybody any good.

"I think that's common knowledge at this point, Mr. Frege," he replied, instead. "Meanwhile, the overhead lights are barely on and the rest of us have to strap in if we don't want to join Luloni and Propriov at the front of the room. Where the **hell** are my _**stabilizers**_?"

"The stabilizers have ceased to function, Captain," explained Frege.

"Figured that much out on my own," he said, brusquely. "Why?"

"A systems protocol, with which I am currently unfamiliar, is active in the core mainframe, Captain. It has overridden all conflicting commands and is depleting a significant percentage of our energy reserves. I surmise that it has suspended the function all systems it deems to be nonessential in the interest of conserving power."

"Well tell it that stabilizers are essential! Stabilizers are **very** essential!"

"Captain, my attempts to reactivate the stabilization systems began the moment they went offline. I have been effectively locked out of the program."

"Can you shut it down?"

"As much as I hate to take baldy's side on this, Sir," the navigator said before Frege could answer. "I'm guessing that 'locked out' means he can't do diddly-squat about it right now."

"That is correct, Lieutenant," he confirmed, calmly. "However, I will continue to analyze the system until I have found a viable means of affecting change, if those are your orders, Captain."

"Seems like that's about all we can do," Haupt acknowledged, grimly. "Alright, Mr. Frege, you keep at it. The rest of you, we're going to have to try and right ourselves manually."

"Manually?" the helmsman squeaked.

"Yes, Mr. Luloni. Manually. Prepare to pull back on my mark, I want the nose tilted up 35 degrees and I want it held there until the stabilizers are back online."

"Aye, Captain," managed Luloni, meekly.

"Everyone, secure yourselves in your stations. This might get a little rough," he added, grinning apologetically as he continued softly. "Counselor, you're with me. I'll try to watch my hands a little more carefully this time."

"Thank you, Sir," she said, coloring slightly. "I don't think I apologized before... for what I did to your nose."

"Probably deserved worse, I think," he answered frankly. "Hold on, and don't let go until we're out of this mess."

Sofia blushed deeper and slid her arms around the captain, her right hand grabbing her left wrist to lock her grip on him.

"Captain, oxygen levels are depleting," said Frege, blandly. "It appears the _Shego_ has blocked our atmospheric intake vents."

"Then let's not waste any more time. PULL UP!"

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"_**Gah!**__" Ron strained as he tore himself away again, gasping for air. "Need… huff… need to… puff… breathe… for a--"_

"_Oh, yes!" she mewled as she yanked him back down against her, rocking her body slowly against him. "Breathe me in deep, lover. Ooh, breathe me in __**so**__ deep."_

"_Frrmruph rrmmuhruh __**fffRRRRMMMM**__!!!" he yelled against her, the rust-bitten chains rattling as he uselessly flailed his manacled arms. _

"_What was that, baby?" she asked, coyl__y. "You want to play a game? I know a real good one that'll be lots of fun for you, me, and the girls. It's called '**Moterboat**.'"_

"_Hey, I never said... wait, 'Motorboat?' What the heck is 'Motorbo-__**bbbbub-bubbbb**__" but before the captive teen could continue, he was pulled in again. Only, this time, instead of just holding him there, Shego tightened her grip on his blond locks and shook his head back and forth like a dog might shake an old shoe. Every time he lifted his head back up she'd tug it right back down between her lady lumps and start again._

"_Hey now, cut that ou-__**bb-bububbubbb-bbbb**__… what's the big ide-__**bbbbubbbub-bbbbb**__… look, I'm really flattered and all but I-__**bbubbb-bbbbubb-bbubbbbbbbb**__…"_

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Fastened in their seats, the crew of the command deck weren't slamming into walls but they were still flailing like rag dolls. Even Frege was forced to halt his work every few seconds and grab hold of the edges of his console during the worst of the tremors.

"Brilliant plan, Cap," Propriov groaned weakly, but still managed to sound snarky. "'Let's use the bridge to play tug-of-war with the super-powered psycho lady.' Real 'outside the box' thinking."

"Frege…" said Haupt, trying to ignore both his navigator and his nausea. "Tell me you're close. Tell me you can fix this."

His response was halted by another vigorous shake. They thrashed wildly once again, a few crewmen desperately clutching at their mouths to keep the afternoon's galley grub down. Then, inexplicably, the shaking slowed and kept slowing until it was nothing more than a gentle rocking. It was such a relief from the jarring turbulence that the helmsman wasn't even moving to pull out of it anymore. They were still angled down, though, rendering the view screen useless.

"What's happening?" the captain asked, helplessly. "What's she doing now?"

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"_Oh… __**ohhh**__… almost there…" _

_Holding on tight with one hand, she cupped the free hand underneath one of her glistening mounds, lifting it and pressing it even firmer against his face. She kneaded it against him roughly, starting to thrust up her hips in an almost desperate rhythm._

"_So __**close**__… so… __**oh**__… oh, yes __**yesss**__, oh… Oh, __**RON**__!!!"_

_With that she arched her back as far as it would go and held her self like that against him, unmoving. Both of her legs were around him now, threatening to squeeze the life out of him. He felt her muscles go slack as she lowered her feet to the ground and immediately fell forward against him, panting and nuzzling the crook of his neck._

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"Did she…" the captain had to struggle to find his voice. "Did she just…?"

"No, Captain," answered Sofia, glaring hatefully at the green vessel filling the view screen. "No she did not. And, for the record, I've seen better acting in cartoons."

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_Unhurriedly, Shego lifted her head from Ron's chest to look deeply into his eyes. She giggled and started tracing little circles on his collarbone with her perfectly manicured finger. His face was flushed red from the heat and contact. There were shining spots on his cheeks where they were streaked with lines of drool that had rubbed back onto his face. Some had even found its way into his hair, leaving it even messier than usual as it stuck out wildly in all directions._

"_You were wonderful, Ronnie," she cooed, her lips hovering barely apart from his. "I gotta say, Kimmie is one __**lucky**__ girl."_

_You could almost hear the sound of screeching tires and shattering glass as something he'd overlooked in the heat of the moment was suddenly brought into center focus. Shego looked to her left, smirking for all she was worth. He didn't want to look. Really, he didn't. It was like his chin was caught in some kind of tractor beam. Slowly, his head turned all the way to the right._

"_Oh yeah, Princess," continued Shego, utterly shameless. "This one's a keeper. Better have your eye on him. I might feel like borrowing him again sometime. A little more quality time between sidekicks. I think we both know how he'd feel about that, right Kimmie?" _

_Ron's mouth was open, but he wasn't trying to speak. There was nothing he could say. There was nothing he could say that wasn't likely to make the whole thing ten times worse. That wasn't what was keeping him quiet, because it'd certainly never stopped him before. What he saw there, standing next to him wearing the same rusty chains, had scared every single solitary word right out of his head. He'd managed a quiet, choking noise in the back of his throat when Shego spoke again._

"_Well, it's been fun, but I've got places to be," she smoothly slid herself off of Ron and turned to leave, stopping only once on her way to the door to look over her shoulder and bring a hand up to the side of her head like the receiver of a phone while she mouthed the words "call me" at the stunned blond. _

_Shego shut the heavy door behind her and grabbed the dark green trench coat she'd hung on one of the various pointy outcroppings of rock. Slipping it on and tying it shut, she walked briskly to the main exit and out of the lair where the taxi she'd called earlier was waiting. She slipped the driver a handful of C-notes to secure his services for the rest of the night and gave him directions to one of her safe houses, telling him to wait for her outside until she came back. The second she was inside her lavishly decorated penthouse suite, she had to steady herself on a coffee table so she wouldn't fall down laughing. _

_The look on Kim Possible's face was something she'd treasure for the rest of her life, and all she'd had to do was try to keep herself from hurling as she gave the buffoon the thrill of his young life. In her mind, it more than balanced out in the end, although she'd taken three showers before she was satisfied she'd gotten the last bit of "geek-slime" washed off of her flawless mint cream skin. After toweling off, she slid into a gorgeous dress, admittedly only her second favorite, and soon she was back in the cab and on her way to one of her favorite clubs. The music was hot, the lights were low, and the boys were oh so pretty. All in all, it turned out to be one of the best times she'd had in months. She was enjoying herself so much, in fact, that she didn't notice that all the men she picked to dance with that night, aside from looking like they'd just walked out of the pages of a fashion magazine, were also similar in that they were sporting blond hair, freckles, or larger than average ears. _

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To Be Continued In…

"Homeward"

Author's Notes: Did you really think I could give up that easily? Leave you good people hanging? You must think me a right horrible bastard. Well, I'm not… mostly. After all, this chapter's a bit shorter than you're used to, although it's longer than the first chapter of To Boldly Go. If you're wondering why I decided to separate this story into two halves, I do have my reasons and they don't all involve breaking the sentence in half so I could get two different titles. The truth is you might be dealing with some more adult-oriented material in this half of the story. Shocking, I know, considering the chapter you just read. Right...

For the record, if you got turned on by what you read, that's great for you but it really wasn't my intention. At all. I've got no problem with erotic literature, really. If that's your cup of tea, more power to you. I just don't think I'm at a stage in my life where I should be writing wanking material for total strangers. Again, nothing wrong with it, just not for me right now. As of right now, there's no real cursing and the sexual situations are well within contemporary PG-13 limits… I think. I've set it at a "T" rating, but it might very well change to "M" if I need to. I remind you, "M" rating would be for safety, not because I'm turning this story into a Bow-Chicka-BOW-Bow… Okay? Okay.

Special Thanks to all of you who reviewed "To Boldly Go…", and I'll mention those who reviewed chapter 6 here specifically. My eternal gratitude to **CajunBear73** (Can't believe you thought I'd play you like that), **DuffKilliganFan** (Okay, maybe the prayers to Quetzocoatl did something after all), **Meca Vegeta** (Thanks for the three "bum" salute), **Mr. Wizard** (All of us knowing, dun dadun dadun, DUDUH DUH… Ron is a battlefield) **specter666** (Katie Kaboom, mutha f-ers!) and **UncleFester84** (My madness tends to have that affect on people).

Feedback is appreciated. Leave a review, get a response.

Blessed be,  
-Brother Bludgeon

_Kim Possible_ created by Mark McCorkle and Robert Schooley.  
_Star Trek_ created by Gene Roddenberry


	2. Homeward

**SideTrekked: "...Where No Man Has Gone Before"**

"Homeward"

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"_That's it buddy, you can do it!" urged the boy, his eyes following the crawling mass of pink as it inched across the stone floor. "Come on, Rufus! Only… six more feet to go." _

_That last part probably would've sounded much more encouraging if the cage the hairless rodent had been trapped in wasn't about six feet and two __**inches**__ away from where he was chained to the wall. _

"_Yeah… this could take a while." _

_His bucktoothed friend obviously hadn't fully recovered from his last few sleepless nights playing nursemaid at Ron's bedside. Even though he seemed to be moving at sub-glacier speeds, it was hard to resent the little guy for it. Besides, it gave him time to think about the past few minutes._

_After Shego had… finished up, he'd found himself staring at the young woman he'd long considered to be his girlfriend. At least, he'd thought it was her. There was a passing resemblance, certainly. Of course, some part of him was still holding out hope that Drakken had replaced his Kim with one of those clones, the ones that had their brains hard wired with that sociopath poodle, Commodore Puddles. She'd definitely given off a steady Puddles vibe right then. _

_The most notable thing right off the bat was her coloring. He'd spent more than half his lifetime making his mental image of her, a process helped along by her almost constant companionship, her penchant for sleeveless belly shirts or short cheerleader skirts, and one totally accidental glimpse he'd gotten when he accidentally wandered into the wrong locker room, completely by accident. All in all, he felt like he knew the full palette. Not so. There'd been a shade of red spreading across her face that had nothing to do with embarrassment, which was slowly shifting to a shade of purple that'd only look healthy on Shego's brother. The whiny one with the useless shrinking power. Her fists had clenched tighter and tighter until the whiteness spread from her knuckles, down her fingers and back across her hand, creeping towards the wrist. Ron wasn't even sure if that was biologically possible but, then again, "check the name". _

_Her expression, on the other hand, was one that he knew very well. It's not the kind of face that you'd forget. The last time her face had worn that expression, she'd kicked someone. Off of a roof. Into a metal structure. Breaking said metal structure. It was then that he'd come to a rather startling revelation._

_He was the only one within kicking distance. _

_Unconsciously, he'd started shuffling his feet in the opposite direction from the dangerously quiet redhead. A sharp metallic sound froze him in place, terrified that he'd rattled his chains and shifted her attention back to him. Very quickly, though, he had noticed the source of the sound hadn't been his chains. It'd been hers. Another hard clink. Another. This time, he'd distinctly heard a straining groan, but not the kind you'd think. Another click and the groan had been longer but just as shrill. Then, in a move that'd made Ron's eyes bug out the size of tennis balls, she'd been falling forward before she caught herself on her hands and knees, the only noise coming from the now loose chains whipping the stone floor fast and hard enough to send up a small spray of pebbles on either side of her. He'd looked up in total disbelief at the small remnants of chain still hanging on the wall. Sure they'd been rusty, but still…_

_In a slow, fluid motion, she'd brought herself back up to her feet, the lengths of chain scraping against the ground even after she was at her full height. They'd continued to drag along the ground when she had started walking towards the door. She hadn't said a word, hadn't looked at Ron once. About halfway across the room, she'd stopped. He'd been terrified that she was going to turn around. She hadn't. Instead, she'd lifted her left hand in front of her. With her right hand she'd grabbed the dangling chain and slowly, methodically had begun wrapping it around her left hand. That hadn't really made Ron feel any safer. Once she'd finished, her left hand was practically cocooned in the metal links. It wasn't until she'd knelt down that he'd realized that she was right next to Rufus' cage, the tiny captive still sound asleep. Almost faster than Ron's eyes could follow, she'd slammed the mass of chain against the top of the cage, denting it and bowing the bars so badly that the cage door couldn't take the pressure, popping off like a champagne cork. Rufus had twitched at this and had looked around for a full two seconds before rolling over into a snoring ball yet again. Without another word or even a look over her shoulder, she'd stood up again and walked out the door, slamming it behind her. _

_Now, after a little more than twenty minutes of shouting the little guy's name and promising at least twelve different kinds of cheese, Ron was finally seeing some results. Very slow results that… had apparently passed out again._

"_RUFUS!" _

_Yep, he had plenty of time to think._

OOOOO**whoosh**OOOOO

"Hey! She can't do that! Can she?"

"I think she just did, Mr. Luloni," the captain answered. "Not that I have any idea _how_ she did it."

"The moorings," offered the navigator, quickly. "Hers weren't as strong as ours. Got to be…"

"There was a notable discrepancy in the structural integrity of the fastened mooring lines," said Frege without taking his eyes off of his console.

"See, there you go," Propriov smirked. "Big round of applause for Commander Varicose, everybody!"

"The mooring lines anchoring the _Ron Stoppable_ show a minimum of 27 percent greater damage from ferric oxidation," the Science Officer answered, blandly.

"You are **so** lucky I don't feel safe leaving my chair anymore, Frege," the other officer growled, bitterly turning back to monitor the _Rufus_' progress.

"I said I was sorry, Yakov," the helmsman muttered sadly.

"And I've been telling you that you were sorry for years," grunted Propriov. "Not exactly earth shattering to hear you admit it on your own. The only difference is now you've got some serious competition for the title of sorriest waste of space on this ship."

"Really?" Luloni asked, you could swear he almost sounded a little disappointed. "Who?"

"Mr. Last-of-the-Neurons over there, now that we know some little systems glitch can bend him over and show him who wears the daddy pants. Hey, Frege! You any closer to figuring it out yet?"

"My examination of the embedded protocol has been temporarily suspended, Lieutenant." Frege answered, though he showed no signs of even slowing down as his hands continued to fly over the control panel. "Once the _Shego_ released us, it immediately resumed its dormancy. In order recover it, I must either wait for the specific conditions that activated it to begin with or manually call up all existing programs in the core memory and inspect them for evidence of similar code parameters, with which I am currently engaged."

"You'd better keep at it, Mr. Frege," said Haupt, speaking a bit more gently than his navigator. "We can't afford to let the ship be disabled like that again. I doubt I'm the only one that hated feeling so completely helpless."

"Like any of us had time to feel helpless?" Propriov shot back. "We were all to busy feeling everything we ate in the last 72 hours clawing its way back up. Unless, of course, you're talking about that chain thing, because that totally left me wondering why we even bother following that crazy chick around. No offense, Sofie."

"That's very interesting…" the Counselor said, smirking. "I wouldn't think a simple display of the _Kim_'s capabilities would be able to affect you so much. Though those kinds of feelings of inadequacy would explain why you're constantly lashing out verbally at everyone around you. No offense, _Yako_."

"Oh, ouch," the navigator gripped his chest in mock pain. "Didn't know you ever brought out the claws for anybody but the Cap. Hey, does that mean you wanna sit on _my_ lap next?"

Sofia was about to respond when she suddenly realized why he'd asked. Turning her head slowly, she saw that the captain had come to very much the same conclusion. That much was easy to see because their faces were now barely inches apart. After all the shaking, she hadn't exactly been eager to stand up again right away. Then, when she'd recovered, the _Kim's _actions followed by the conversations on the bridge had been enough to keep her distracted. It was a totally rational excuse… for why she was currently warming her commanding officer's lap with her finely-toned fanny.

She practically leapt off of the captain's thighs, blushing to the roots of her dark hair. Looking down, she kept her eyes glued to her uniform as she straightened it again, not daring to look any of her crewmates in the face quite yet. A quick, accidental glance behind her revealed that the legendary Richard C. Haupt was reddening just as bad as she was.

"Mr. Propriov may have hit on a good point, Counselor," Capt. Haupt managed weakly, still nowhere near willing to make eye contact with anyone, especially the lady officer he was addressing. "Even for the _Kim_, that was an unusual show of force. Can you think of any glutes, **CLUES!** Clues, I mean. Can you think of any _clues_ as to how she managed to do something like that… is what I wanted to ask you."

"Smooth, Captain. I'd even go so far as saying that was as smooth as a baby's--"

"Shut up, Mr. Propriov."

Some distance away, a solitary figure sat in absolute silence. The bare walls of his chamber, though many would mistake the room for a hallway because of its long, narrow shape despite having a door at only one end, were really colored a gleaming white but the clinging darkness kept the scenery a dull gray. His seat, which could just as easily be called a throne, was as far from the stretched football-shaped entryway as possible, nearly touching the rounded wall behind him. The distance was intentional, giving anyone who dared to approach a great deal of time to contemplate the worst. If the frail, trembling creature cowering in the doorway was any indication, it was working.

"Approach," the seated one croaked, sending a fresh batch of shivers through his visitor.

It had the desired effect. The fear of disobedience immediately overrode the fear of being unwelcome, worn boots pattering and skidding across the floor in his hurry. He stopped a good short of the seat, dropping to one knee with his bulbous head bowed low.

"Y-you do me great honor, my Commander, in granting me audience," he said, hurriedly.

"I do no sssuch thing," said the rasping, airy voice with words that dug into the chest like spear points. "On your feet."

Sweating freely now, he scrambled back up. His thin, serpentine tail hanging limp behind him apart from the occasional twitch.

"Closssser."

With a gulp, he took a single step forward. The look in the Commander's eye made it clear that it wasn't nearly close enough. Shuffling and dragging his feet, he narrowed the gap between them until he could've reached out and taken hold of his superior's tail as it writhed languidly over the left arm of the chair.

"Ssspeak."

"Of c-course, Eldest," he managed, what little remaining courage he had swallowed up by that grimly focused eye. "The Brotherhood… w-we… they… the Brotherhood has called upon me to voice their concerns. The recent--"

A raised hand returned him to terrified silence.

"What the Brotherhood hasss… isss doubtsssss," the Commander corrected, almost gently, as one might explain to a child. "Life isss brief, wyrmling. Lying to one who already knowsss the truth isss pointlesssss. Choose your wordsss with greater care."

"I… The Brotherhood…"

"hasss…?"

"The Brotherhood has… doubts, Commader," his voice was a small, quivering thing. "Some have even begun to doubt that the Awakening… a small section of our forces believe it won't come about at all. When the Emperor failed to respond to the Verdant Goddess' touch, there was _**AACK**_--"

Long fingers gripped like steel cables. Jagged nails bit into the soft flesh of his throat as he felt his heels start to lift off the ground. The Eldest's face wasn't twisted in anger, his eye was steady but clear. His expression hadn't changed at all, but the pressure on the squirming creature's throat got his message across very clearly.

"You were warned," he said, icily. "Sssspeak again, and ssspeak true."

"W-when…" he struggled, as much for breath as for the "truth" his Commander was demanding. "When the _**Goddess**_** failed!** When the Goddess… urg… failed to awaken the Emperor…"

His airway opened again and he rocked back on his heels, not daring to stumble and fall for fear of angering the Eldest further. The threatening hand withdrew much slower than it'd struck.

"The othersss make you ssspeak for them," he hissed, the edge rising in his voice. "They make you their mouth, ssso you will carry my wordsss back to them. Our glorioussss Emperor _will_ rissssse! It isss inevitable. As sssure the ebb and flow of the Golden Tide. The Verdant Goddesssss proved an unworthy vesssel for Hissss power."

"But… the coming of the Goddess…"

"Wasss a sssign of Hissss return," he said before the other could finish. "Nothing more. Did you think He would ever sssettle for anything lessss than the ultimate conquessst?"

"You don't mean…" it was difficult to even consider it, let alone form the words.

"'_Lo, the chainsss that bind fall away. The All-Father awakenssss to sssstand and sssstretch and reach into Heaven for one who would be, to Him, a light unto Hissss purposssse_.' The Eldessst of Eldessstsss knew, even from the firssst, that she would be our dessstiny."

"… The Angel of Sunfire."

"Ourssss by rightssss, wyrmling. We ssshall **not** be denied!"

OOOOO**whoosh**OOOOO

"_Yep, there's no use denying it. Kim's never gonna want to come near me again."_

_The tiny head tilted and beady black eyes shone with sympathy as he pat his human gently on the cheek. _

"_Awww." His recent power nap leaving him with a small surplus of energy, Rufus was out of Ron's pocket and onto his shoulder where he could comfort him more easily. _

"_I mean it's not like I can blame her," said Ron glumly. "I'm damaged goods. My girlfriend has __**one**__ nemesis… Well, two if you count Bonnie, which she does. And she's been all over me twice now, what with the naco royalties in junior year and last fall with the Homecoming Queen thing. It's like I'm catnip for girls that hate Kim's guts! Hey, do you think Tara or Yori had it in for her, too? Maybe my parents have some super secret feud with the Possibles, and they're only pretending to like me so they can send me over to Kim's house then extract information from me in my sleep! AAARGH! MY PARENTS TURNED ME INTO A __**DOUBLE AGENT!**__" _

_From his perch on Ron's shoulder, Rufus sighed and did his best to make himself comfy. He knew from a lifetime's worth of experience that living with the boy meant having to listen to a rant or two. Or fifty. This new development with Kim and the green lady was important. He knew it. He knew Ron knew it. Eventually, the conversation would find its way back to that, but first they'd have to take this little detour through the familiar territory of paranoid delusion. It was halfway through a speech about the Fifth Amendment and radio transmitters in dental fillings when Ron completely forgot about where he was going. Figuratively and literally._

"_Stupid evil lairs…" he muttered in frustration. "All these hallways look the same. And why am I in such a hurry, anyway? She's not gonna be happy to see me. Whenever she looks at me, all she's gonna see is Shego doing… things. I wouldn't blame her if she never wanted to see me again."_

"_Hnn? Nuh-uh. __**Nuh-uh!**__"_

"_That's nice of you to say, buddy. But, I don't see how-- mmmrrrph" Ron suddenly found himself silenced by the grip of deceptively strong little claws. _

"_Grrr. Unh-uh," the rodent insisted scowling up at his human for even thinking such a thing. "Chippy."_

"_Chippy?" Ron asked with his newly freed lips. "Wasn't that the name of that monkey that wore Kim's Nana dress when she had her DNA all messed up by that weirdo Monkey King necklace? What does that have to do with…? Wait a sec, you're trying to remind me that when I thought that little monkey was KP, it didn't matter that I wanted to run away screaming and hurl my guts every time I looked at it. You're saying that if somebody as screwed up as me can get past the monkey pain back before we were even dating, a girlfriend as amazing as Kim can handle it no problem. Rufus, when we get out of here, I'm gonna have Wade scan you for leftovers from that project Phoebus thing 'cause you are a __**genius**__!"_

"_Hee… Shucks," Rufus beamed, his front legs crossed behind him while left hind leg scuffed a tiny circle on Ron's shoulder. He relished in the easy praise Ron would often give him, making the almost never-ending chore of caring for his human that much more rewarding. Not that it made it any easier, especially when it came to the mood swings. _

_The fact that the boy could go so quickly from laughter to tears to hysterical panic, occasionally all in the same sentence, had the little pink guy checking his neck for Moodulators about as often as Ron had checked Kim right after their junior prom. Which was another thing that just about drove the mole rat almost past the brink, the idea that the only way a girl like her could ever like him was mind control. _

_Ron's self-image was skewed to the point of being a total paradox. He'd brag about how well he could dance, his status with the ladies, and his "mad fu skillz" without a lick of truth to back any of it up, but try to talk to him about something he was actually good at and he'd downplay it in a heartbeat. How was it even possible to suffer from an over-inflated ego and low self-esteem __**simultaneously**__? Rufus hadn't missed when Ron had called himself "screwed up," but hadn't seen the point in arguing when he'd obviously bounced back from his pity fiesta. _

_While there was still plenty of room for improvement, he was only one rodent, after all. Even though he hated to think of anything so mushy, he almost wished his humans would just get it over with and mate already, if only on the off chance that being with a female for that length of time without a coupling was the root of Ron's problems. He knew that, if he'd lived in a colony instead of a pocket, hanging out with the Queen for more than a decade without a single litter of pups to show for it would not have done wonders for his sanity._

"_Hey… um, think you can use some of that genius to figure out where the heck we are?" Ron's sheepish request broke Rufus off the less than wholesome tangent he'd been on. _

_Go time. He looked around carefully, using the same instincts to judge his position in the maze of nearly identical hallways that would have been used to navigate tunnels in the wild. Tunnels that led to the Queen and her big, comfy breeding chamber where two mole rats could… _

_Rufus growled and shook his head furiously. Quickly, he chattered out a set of directions, telling Ron to turn around and take the left hallway at the T junction, before scampering down the black mission shirt, across the pant leg, and back into warmth and security of the cargo pocket. He was especially thankful for the fact that his human shared his gift for extra-species language. Having to point and grunt like he would for any other human would have kept him out on that shoulder way too long, and he was sure his little rodent brain would've blown a fuse if he had. After all that female contact, it was like the boy was __**drenched**__ in pheromones._

"_Oh, so __**that's**__ why they call it a 'T junction,' it's shaped like a big 'T,'" Ron mused out loud before taking the left. "You know, they can make you study a thing for hours in Driver's Ed, but until you see it for yourself, you're never gonna understand…"_

_The short hallway had opened out into the main chamber, but the sidekick wasn't moving. Wondering about the delay, Rufus popped his naked little head out for a look. His bucktooth mouth dropped open a good three inches which, for a six-inch mole rat, is very impressive. _

"_Eep," was all he said before diving back into Ron's pocket, curling into a shivering pink ball._

"_Yeah," said Ron, still transfixed by what he was seeing. "I'd say 'eep' pretty much covers it."_

OOOOO**whoosh**OOOOO

"Who… wha… how…?"

"Three excellent questions, Mr. Luloni," Capt. Haupt mused, hardly believing what he saw on the view screen. "Anyone happen to have an answer?"

"That depends," the navigator said, guardedly. "Do you think we were out of commission long enough to miss World War III?"

The captain looked at him for a moment, arching an eyebrow, before slowly shaking his head.

"Then I got nothing," finished Propriov, returning focus to his instruments.

OOOOO**whoosh**OOOOO

_Timidly, Ron took a few steps into the lair. The place looked like it'd been hit by a tornado, a tornado that had decided to back up and hit it a few more times, just to make sure it hadn't missed anything. All around him, the ground was littered with dented metal, bits of glass, obliterated computer parts, and even a few pieces of the weird pointy rock formations that, now that he thought about it, shouldn't have even been there at all considering the lair was inside a building. _

_The giant computer terminals, at least the ones that were still standing, looked like Swiss cheese, or would have if the holes in Swiss cheese typically spat out 10,000 volts of electricity at random. A little further into the lair, he noticed the platform where he'd seen the shipping crate with the missing parts. The crate wasn't there and, apparently, its last act of life had been to give birth to about half a million baby toothpicks. As for the cutting edge components inside…_

"_I guess it's a good thing nobody wanted any of this stuff back," he said, picking up a piece of tech so trashed he doubted Frugal Lucre would even bother dumpster diving for it._

OOOOO**whoosh**OOOOO

"…And we're sure that no part of the ship came in contact with a self-destruct button?" The captain's question was directed to the Communication's officer behind him, though his eyes never left the view screen.

"I've confirmed it with both hands, both elbows, the legs, I've even asked Duff," answered Lt. Indlebe, knowing Haupt expected that level of thoroughness from his crew, though he could count on one hand the number of times the aft decks had initiated a destruct sequence.

"Captain, I have analyzed the impact patterns in the surrounding debris," the Science Officer offered. "The lack of scorch markings is inconsistent with lair self-destruction commands. All evidence points to blunt force, specifically an accelerated high-density material. The indentations show a single line with rounded areas at an interval of 4.27 centimeters."

"Right…" the captain appeared to meditate on this for a moment. "What would you say the chances are that the 'impacts' were caused by someone swinging around a length of chain?"

"Approximately 93.86 percent, Captain," Frege answered instantly, calculating the odds in his head at lightning speed. "That is, indeed, a logical assessment."

"Wow, Captain," the helmsman gaped. "You guessed it just from what Frege said?"

"Actually," Sofia responded with a ghost of a smile, "I think it had more to do with the fact that the _Kim_ happened to have two lengths of chain attached to her wrists the last time we saw her."

"Whoa, hold it right there!" Indlebe spoke up defensively. "You're not suggesting the _Kim_ is capable of this kind of devastation."

"Actually, Rae'Kwon, I think 'devastation' is the key word here," Haupt said sadly. "She had a front row seat to… I just think we should be thankful she didn't decide to take out her frustrations on the ship."

Counselor Sofia was beside herself. In all her time aboard the _Ron_, she'd never seen Capt. Haupt display that level of empathic thought. Well, except for when she'd first found herself on board. He'd been so considerate of her feelings, making her feel more at home than she'd even thought possible. She'd felt such a connection to him then.

"I think it's obvious that our best course of action is to find the _Kim_ and explain that whatever the _Shego_ did, it didn't mean anything," the captain finished, confidently.

And then he'd started saying things like that.

"Captain Haupt," she said, sending him a warning glare. "I'm not sure it would be in anybody's best interest to immediately mention anything having to do with--"

"The _Drakken_!"

"Um… no," Sofia turned, confused, to Propriov after his outburst. "I was actually talking about the _Shego_."

"And I was actually tuning you out," the navigator said, sounding hurried but still taking the time to be snide. "I've spotted the _Drakken_ and the red shirts."

"Damn," the captain said, paling slightly as he imagined what might have happened while they'd been inoperative. "I'd forgotten all about them. Are they…?"

"They're in the right amount of pieces, Sir, don't worry about that," Propriov reassured him. "Looks like the _Kim_ decided to take everything out on the scenery and left them alone."

"So they're all still fuctioning," Haupt said, relieved. The _Kim_ breaking some equipment was one thing, taking other ships out of commission was something completely different.

"Yeah, so far as the scanners can tell, but there's something else," he answered, squinting at the monitor in front him. "They're in some kind of formation. I think I recognize it, but I can't be sure."

"Run it through the system, Mr. Propriov," Haupt said, secretly glad to be back in the familiar territory of giving orders and having them obeyed. "I'll get Spines to cross-reference it with the ship's memory. In the meantime, Mr. Luloni, see if you can get us a little closer."

The men snapped to their orders, as a comfortable silence fell over the bridge. This recent… brush with the _Shego_ had left the whole crew feeling helpless. And it wasn't the constant helplessness that they'd come to expect from being onboard what was essentially a civilian ship repeatedly thrown into daredevil maneuvers and live combat, they were used to that. Haupt was basking in the lack of tension when Hatfield's voice squawked through his COM system.

"I had to open some old files, but I found the formation," he informed the captain, smugly. "I've patched it through to the navigator's station so he can confirm."

"Thanks, Spines," said Haupt, impressed. "That was fast."

"'Fast' he says," Spines huffed. "Of course it was fast. You finally managed to ask me about something we actually had in the archives. You'd be surprised what kind of speedy service you get when you're not asking me to cut and paste you a copy of War and Peace when all I got down here are the Sunday Funnies. Hatfield out."

Capt. Haupt chuckled a bit at his old friend's rant before lifting his head to check the navigator's progress. Propriov seemed to have gotten the data, judging from the look of concentration on his face, but that looked like it was quickly fading into disbelief.

"What is it, Mr. Propriov?" he asked. "Can you confirm Hatfield's read on the formation?"

"Oh, I confirmed it, alright, Captain," the lieutenant said, wearily. "And it makes perfect sense, considering I just remembered the last place I saw it."

"And where was that?" the captain pressed, curious.

"Middleton Daycare Center," he answered, before taking a moment to massage his temples in a vain attempt to ward off the fast approaching migraine.

"Middleton Daycare…? You..." Haupt stared up at the exterior feed in disbelief. "Are you telling me that formation…?"

"Duck, Duck, Goose," deadpanned the navigator. "And, yes, that's the _Drakken_ there in the Mush Pot."

OOOOO**whoosh**OOOOO

_Cautiously, Ron made his way towards the grown men sitting quietly in a circle. If any of them acknowledged his presence it was with a slight turn of the head to see him better before staring back into space. Drakken didn't even bother to look up, he just sat there glaring sourly at nothing. _

"_So… yeah," Ron spoke up, the dead silence finally getting to him. "I'd file this one under 'foiled plots,' am I right?"_

_No one spoke up. The blue villain showed no sign of even having heard him. _

"_Not that this wasn't one of your better ones," he continued. "Real criminal mastermind stuff. I give you an 'A' for creativity." _

_Nothing. Not even a twitch from Drakken. Ron frowned, his usual nervousness around the hired muscle fleeing as he stepped past them into the middle of the group. _

"_So, what is this? I don't think we ever actually stuck around this long after beating you before. Is this like some kind of bad guy tradition? Power circle, maybe? Anybody, feel free to jump in with an explanation. Hello? Buffoon in the dark over here. What, is it 'share time' and nobody remembered to bring the Talking Stick?"_

_With a sigh of frustration, he crouched down directly in front of the silent scientist and stared him straight in the eye. Their faces were inches away, but his blank scowl gave no indication that there was anything more that empty air in front of him. Ron brought up a hand and waved it in his face, which was soon followed by the other hand. Irritation mounting, he stretched his arms wide before clapping them loudly back together inches away from Drakken's nose. He thought he saw a flinch, but realized it'd just been the shadows from his hands._

"_Drakken? __**Dr.**_ _Drakken?" he decided to see if adding the bogus title would help. Nope. "Um… Dr. __**D**__? Let's see… Doc? Dr. Lipsky? Drew? Great Blue?"_

_As Ron looked up, trying to remember if there were any other names Drakken might answer to, he failed to notice a single, pulsing vein that was growing steadily on the not-so-good doctor's forehead. He also missed the faint squeaking of rubber on rubber as Drakken clenched his less than impressive hands into even less impressive fists._

"_Um…" Ron continued, still oblivious, "… Drewbie?"_

"_grrrrRRRRRRRAARGH!!!" Drakken's face twisted in anger as he grabbed fistfuls of his spiky black hair and yanked. "YOU INSUFFERABLE LACKWIT! HOW ANY ONE HUMAN BEING COULD BE SO MIND-NUMBINGLY AGGRAVATING IS BEYOND oops…" _

_Startled by Drakken's sudden explosion, Ron had jumped slightly at the shout and fell inelegantly on his butt. As he sat there contemplating the implications of something being "beyond oops," he noticed that the now trembling Drakken had clamped both hands tightly over his mouth and that he seemed to be turning a slightly paler shade of blue._

"_I __**KNOW**__ I DIDN"T JUST HEAR SOMEBODY TALKING DURING __**QUIET TIME**__!"_

_Her footsteps sounded so much louder than her size should have been able to produce. With every step, the rusted chains slung over her shoulder jangled softly. Idly, Ron wondered if she'd found the keys for the manacles, used one of Wade's gadgets to zap them, or if she'd just reached down and ripped them off once they'd started to get in the way. _

"_I didn't want to talk, I __**swear**__!" Drakken pleaded, rising to his knees and clasping his hands in front of him. "He __**made**__ me do it! He just went on and on, I couldn't take it anym--"_

_She silenced him with a glare that Barkin would've, and possibly had, killed for. When she spoke again, her voice didn't sound angry so much as hollow._

"_She's gone." _

"_You see, I was telling the truth!" said Drakken, hopefully. "She left just before you broke loose. So, believe me when I say that I have no idea where she is. I mean, does Shego seem like the type to tell her employer the names of the clubs she frequents? Of course not! I could be bleeding in a ditch somewhere and she'd never know. I ask you, where is the loyalty, where is the--"_

"_Ranting," she interrupted him, quietly but giving off a palpable wave of murderous intent. "Stop. I went to her room. Wasn't much to break. Broke it anyway."_

"_Yes, well that seems fair," Drakken nodded in answer._

"_Then I went to your room. There was a lot more to break in there."_

"_Oh…" he deflated a bit. "You didn't happen to… was there anything… ? Not that I could blame you, but did you manage find enough mercy in your heart not to…?"_

"_I didn't touch your teddy bear," she answered after he trailed off, ignoring the relieved smile on his face. "I'm angry. Not evil."_

"_Of course. So, I take it you'll be leaving, then?" _

"_We're taking the last hovercar," Ron relaxed slightly at the first mention of "we," glad she wasn't planning on leaving him behind. _

"_The last…" Drakken mentally pieced it together. "You destroyed them, didn't you? Aren't we the busy little bee?"_

_He smiled weakly. If Kim found any amusement in his analogy, she didn't show it. She shot a look at Ron and gestured with her head for him to follow, then turned and started walking. Drakken felt a sharp tug at his shoulder that nearly toppled him over as the sidekick used him as leverage to scramble up to his feet. The buffoon almost collided with her when she stopped. She didn't turn around as she spoke._

"_I expect a call from GJ tomorrow morning telling me that you and your lackeys turned yourselves in." _

"_Now see here, Kim Possible!" he shouted at her back before he could stop himself. _

_He watched fearfully as the tension spread from her shoulders to her neck and out to all her extremities. At that moment, he'd have been willing to give up the whole world just to keep that slender, teenaged cheerleader from turning around. _

"_See what?" _

"_Global Justice is a government agency," he continued, trying desperately to mask his mistake by matching the previous indignant tone in his voice. "Do you honestly believe there are __**government employees**__ working that early on a Saturday? I think not! However, I would be willing to use my one phone call to let you know the details of my arrest, provided that you promise to immediately phone my mother and let her know I'll be needing the family lawyer again."_

_Silently thanking whatever patron saint looked after super villains, he saw the girl's muscles relax slightly._

"_I'll get Wade to do it," she said dismissively before she started walking again, the buffoon following close at her heels. _

"_Well?" Drakken looked expectantly at his hired help. "You heard the lady. Get up! The communications array is currently a pile of scrap metal so, if we want to contact Global Justice tonight, we'll have to go out and find a payphone. Now, does anyone have any change?"_

_Following Kim through a slightly mangled pair of doors, Ron found himself in the hangar area of the lair. Or, at least, what used to be a hangar. Except for one untouched hovercar in the corner, there wasn't anything in the cavernous room that would ever be considered skyworthy again. Wordlessly, they climbed into the rounded vehicle and her Kimmunicator was out and routed through the hovercar's systems._

"_**Kim!?!**__ Are you guys okay?" a thoroughly freaked Wade Load brought his face right up to the in-dash screen. "I've been trying to reach you for hours! If I hadn't heard from you in the next… thirty-six minutes, I would've called everybody from GJ to Yamanouchi to your mom to storm in there and get you."_

"_We need a ride home," she said, ignoring his concern. "Can you hack one of Drakken's hovercars?"_

"_I… well, yeah. Sure," answered Wade, hesitantly._

_From his room, he did a quick study of her face. Her expression was just about unreadable. He'd seen her tired before, lots of times. This was different. She looked like she'd had the life drained right out of her. _

"_Kim, is something wrong?" he asked. "Did something happen to Ron? His ch… his you-know-what is still giving off a clear signal."_

"_We're __**fine**__," she snapped before she managed to compose herself again. "Just… get us home, okay?"_

"_Okay. I'll have you back in a few minutes. Are you sure nothing--"_

"_I think we should maintain radio silence on the way back," she cut his question short. "So you can focus on your driving." _

_Before he could respond, she flipped a switch and cut the visual feed. Back at his computer, Wade ran stubby fingers through his tangled hair. He'd been worrying himself half to death over his three best friends and now Kim was shutting him out. He knew he shouldn't take it personally, that it had nothing to do with him and everything to do with the mission, but it hurt just the same. With a sigh, he pressed a few keys and brought out his Wadebot joystick while, miles away, the hovercar's engines roared to life. Another combination of keystrokes opened the outer doors and, using readouts from the craft's navigation equipment, guided them out into the night sky._

_For a few minutes, Ron tried to distract himself by looking at the passing scenery over the side of the hovercar. Despite what most people thought, he wasn't acrophobic. Really, the only thing about heights that scared him was jumping from them. The moon was big that night, and they were far enough from any big cities that the stars were dotting almost every square inch of the sky. In the soft light, even the sparse landscape they were flying over looked pretty. He didn't even want to think about how beautiful his girlfriend looked in this ethereal glow. Eventually, he'd had more than enough, so he turned to her. _

_Beautiful? That went without saying. She sat there, shoulders slack and eyes closed. As the moonlight brushed along the edges of her face, Ron's heart felt like it was caught in a vice. She was sadness, or at least the perfect picture of it. He had to do something. Say something…_

"_KP… I didn't want to--"_

"_I know," she spoke without looking at him, or even opening her eyes. "She's got powers, and you were chained to a wall. There's nothing you could've done. She was going to get what she wanted."_

"_Then, why…?" his unfinished question hung there in space for a few moments._

"_YOU PLAYED __**MOTORBOAT**__ WITH HER, RON!" she cried out, turning to look at him with big, anguished eyes, before her eyes fell and her voice grew quiet again. "Whether you wanted it to happen or not, it did."_

_He started to speak, several times, but there was nothing he could say. More than anything, he wanted put his arms around her and tell her that everything was going to be alright. She was barely two feet away from him in the cramped vehicle, but there seemed to be a barrier around her that put her miles out of his reach._

"_It was going to be a surprise," she said, finally. "Mt. Middleton Ski Lodge. They still owed us a favor after we exposed the 'snowbeast' as one of DNAmy's experiments so their customers felt safe enough to come back."_

_At that moment, Ron was very surprised. The last weeks of March were definitely considered the off season for skiing, even if there were patches of leftover snow at the highest elevations. _

"_One of the nicer chalets, all to ourselves," she continued, smiling a little bitterly. "Normally, they'd have charged us a few hundred dollars, even just for the one night, but we were going to get it for free as long as we made it to the lodge before 8 o'clock. They couldn't hold it for us any long than that, but I told them it'd be no big."_

_She turned away from him, then, wrapping her arms around herself like she was cold. Even with the night breeze blowing through the open cockpit, Ron knew better. Still, he couldn't bring himself to touch her. _

"_She didn't even know what she was taking away from me…"_

_That's when it started. The shallow breaths, the sniffling, he could already pick out the stray whimpers. It was a sound that men everywhere, for more than a thousand generations, had been conditioned to dread. _

_The unbeatable Kimberly Ann Possible, hero to millions, was crying._

OOOOO**whoosh**OOOOO

The lucky ones passed out after the first few seconds. Some of the hardier ones clutched their temples as they writhed on the cold, metallic floor plates. Even the captain's face twisted as the assault clawed savagely at the fringes of his sanity. Monitors and relays flickered on and off and warped to the point of being virtually unrecognizable. At some point, one of them screamed out what they were all thinking.

"God in Heaven, MAKE IT **STOP!!!**"

Counselor Sofia found herself scrambling from station to station, desperately trying to control her fellow officers as they clutched at and pounded on their instruments in mindless pain. She'd just yanked Propriov away from the targeting computer when she heard the captain struggling to speak.

"Mr. Indlebe… r-reopen communications with the _Kim_," he groaned. "We… we need to s-stop this before the _Ron_ breaks down completely."

The lieutenant managed a pitiful "Aye, Sir" before he fumbled with his controls. Just as clumsily, Haupt slammed his fist down on his miniature console again and again until he finally hit the right button.

"Spines…" his voice was strained as he pleaded. "She's crying, Spines…"

"Don't you think I know that?" Hatfield's voice squawked back in answer. "Damn it, Rick. I'm a doctor, I'm not made of **stone!** If you prick me, do I not _**bleed**_"

"J-just give me something… something I can use."

Without waiting for a response, Capt. Haupt let the COM system cut out. Sure enough, a list of archived data flashed across his screen. With the hand that wasn't pressing against the throbbing pain in his head, he picked one of the entries and sent it over to Indlebe's station.

"On my mark, fire on the _Kim_, full compliment battery," said Haupt, barely conscious now.

"What?" Sofia gasped out, realizing too late what the captain had planned. "No, YOU **CAN'T!**"

"FIRE!"

OOOOO**whoosh**OOOOO

"_Come on, KP," said Ron gently, fighting the urge to pull her close. "The prettiest eyes in Middleton should never cry like that."_

_Much to his relief, his words made her pause. Slowly he reached out a trembling hand. It was less than an inch over her shoulder when he heard her speak again._

"_Liar." _

_Ron froze, his hand still hovering where it was._

"_What?" he asked, totally confused._

"_You're lying," her head whipped around, a fresh tear falling and landing on Ron's hand which he jerked away like it'd been burnt by acid. "If I remember right, I don't even have the prettiest eyes in Middleton __**High**__."_

"_Kim, what are you talking about?"_

"_Drakken. Truth Ray," she spat, her voice still on the edge of tears as she turned away from him again. "You told Penny Brown that she had, quote, 'the most beautalicious eyes in school.'"_

"_Kim, I…" he choked on the words._

"_So, I guess there are two possibilities here," she cut off whatever excuse he might have made. "Option A: You were lying to Penny while you were under the influence of an evil ray gun that __**forced**__ you to tell the truth, or Option B: you're lying to me now." _

"_KP…" he reached out again, this time brushing a fingertip against her arm._

"_Just don't, Ron!" she snapped, flinching away from his touch. "Just... just don't."_

OOOOO**whoosh**OOOOO

She might have been slapping him too hard, but she preferred to think that it was more out of panic than a need to punish him. When the captain had slumped over in his chair, she'd just about lost it. At the moment, she was straddling his lap, slapping him on either side of his face again and again as she shouted for him to wake up. Her palms were stinging slightly, making her wonder how bad her commanding officer was going to feel when he woke up, when she felt a gentle but unyielding grip on her wrist. Standing beside her was Frege, standing perfectly straight with his face just as impassive as ever. Before she could ask why the _Kim_ was having no affect on him, she glanced up and noticed the veins on his scalp pulsing wildly, sometimes looking as though they were about to burst.

"There is another solution, Counselor," he said, guiding her back up to her feet.

"But the captain…" she looked back down at the now rosy-cheeked blond.

"Captain Haupt is currently incapacitated," he answered calmly, but with the slightest edge of firmness. "As his First Officer, I temporarily assume his command. As interim Captain, I require immediate analysis of the _Kim Possible_ and how best to alter our circumstances."

Sofia was completely taken aback. She'd never seen the Science Officer act in any way that could be considered proactive, only taking whatever orders the captain gave him. Up until a few seconds earlier, she hadn't even known that Frege was the acting Executive Officer. No XO that she'd ever heard of would have stood for being ignored and ridiculed a fraction of the amount that Frege faced on a daily basis. Realizing that his eyes were still laser focused on her, she shook off the surprise and focused on the task at hand.

"Firing off compliments was the worst thing we could have done," she explained. "Well, I guess it might've been worse to say she looked fat, but we still messed up. What the _Kim _needed to hear was some honest reassurance, not some hackneyed band-aid comment she could see through in less than a second. I mean, how would you feel if you were hurting on a deep, emotional level and all your best friend and partner could think of saying is a superficial compliment?"

"Counselor," the First Officer's blank stare reminded her exactly who she was dealing with. "As I find myself ill-equipped to even speculate on your proposed hypothetical scenario, it would be logical to defer entirely to your expertise in this matter."

"Right," she blushed slightly, partly from her mistake though a large part seemed to come from the fact that someone was willingly acknowledging her as an asset. "We need to be totally honest, her defenses are too strong for anything less now. I… don't have the slightest idea how."

She looked miserably at the Communications Station, where Lt. Indlebe was currently hanging half out of his chair in an unconscious stupor. She didn't have the first clue about how to operate it. And she knew that Frege, intelligent as he was, would have anywhere near enough subtly, let alone sensitivity, for this kind of work. She was somewhere beyond confused when she felt another tug at her wrist as she was led to one of the larger consoles, one that she'd rarely ever seen used.

"I believe I have a solution to your communication requirements, Counselor," he said, his hands darting across switches and knobs as he reconfigured them. "Please, speak clearly. You are now in direct interface with the _Ron Stoppable_'s core mainframe."

She hadn't even begun to process what he was talking about when a metal arm shot out of the console, on the end of which, she assumed, was a microphone. Looking helplessly at Frege he nodded his head almost invisibly, urging her on. She licked her suddenly dry lips and cleared her throat.

"Ron…?"

A few seconds passed. Without warning, every monitor on the command deck went black. She turned to Frege in terror and disbelief, ready to ask what she'd done wrong, but suddenly a bright green text flashed across every screen.

**RSIntCogLn: Kim?**

Her voice disappeared in the wake of her shock. It was impossible. She was _talking_ to the ship? And the ship thought the voice was coming from the _Kim_? She looked up at the Science Officer again, a million questions flashing through her mind.

**RSIntCogLn: I must be going nuts… Now I'm hearing Kim's voice in my head. I guess that's the only way I'll get to talk to her from now on. **

That was enough to shake her out of her stupor. There was no way she was going to let the whole crew down. They were counting on her. The _Ron_ was counting on her.

"Ron," she spoke as clearly as she could into the device. "The _Ki_… **I'm** not going anywhere. I know how you feel. I just need to hear it."

The lights on the console flashed a little faster as the screen stayed blank a little longer this time.

**RSIntCogLn: I don't know what to say. I'm no good at this. **

"You don't have to be good," she said, earnestly. "You have to be _honest_. Tell the truth. The words have to come from your heart. No filters. No lines. Just say it… Please."

The lights were flashing almost too fast to follow. Sofia unconsciously shifted backwards, like she was worried it might explode. Suddenly, the flashing stopped. The lights on the console were shining brightly all at once.

**RSIntCogLn: The truth…**

OOOOO**whoosh**OOOOO

"_The truth is, I'm gonna have to go with Option C," he said, finally._

_Kim shook her head, sniffling softly and sighing in disbelief that he was actually going to try this again. _

"_There was no Option C, Ron."_

"_Actually, there is," he said, softly. "Option C: I was telling the truth then, and I'm telling the truth now." _

"_It doesn't work that way," said Kim, harshly. "You don't get to change what's true just because you feel like it."_

"_Last year, I could've said I was on the cheerleading squad as the mascot and that would've been the truth," he calmly explained, ignoring her tone. "Then, something changed. This fall, I could've said that I was on the football team as a running back and __**that**__ would've been true."_

"_Yeah," Kim laughed, but there was no joy in it. "But, last time I checked, Penny's eyes look exactly the same as they did back then."_

_He could feel her face tightening even with her back turned. She wiped away another tear, flinging it violently off of her fingers. It didn't stop him from speaking again._

"_Penny's eyes didn't change."_

"_Oh, so mine did?" she asked, skeptically. "How? Tell me, Ron, what's so different about my eyes? What do you see in them that's changed? What do you see in my eyes that's so freaking __**beautiful**__?"_

"_Love."_

_She stiffened. He heard her breath catch in her throat as he said the word without a moment of hesitation. As she sat there, still facing away from him, he continued to say the first thing that came to his heart._

"_Some people might look at a sunset or a mountaintop and say it's pretty. Yeah, a sunset is nice, but imagine how it'd feel if you __**knew**__ all those colors in the sky were there just for you and nobody else. A mountain's great, but it'd still be there all tall and majestic even if nobody bothered to look. I look in your eyes, I see a spark. Kim, there's always been a fire in your eyes, but when you look at me it's different. It's different because __**we**__ put it there. Because it's __**our**__ fire. And I can always look at it and know that I'm a part of it. There's nothing prettier than that. I look in your eyes and all I want, more than anything in the world, is to be the guy that you could love forever. So, no, I wasn't lying then, and I'm not lying now. That look in your eyes is the pretties thing I've ever seen and… and I don't know what I'd do if it ever went away…"_

_The rush of wind in his ears was deafening in the silence. She sat there, stone still, and there was nothing he could do except wait._

"_Wade," she said suddenly, flipping the switch next to the tiny screen. _

"_Uh, yeah?" he asked, startled that she had changed her mind about the radio silence. "Did you need something? You guys are less than ten minutes away from your hou--"_

"_Change course!" she shouted, causing the tech to jump and almost fumble the control stick in his hand._

"_Oookay," he answered, leaning away from the screen. "Where wou--?"_

"_Ron's house," she interrupted him again. "Please and thank you."_

"_Fine, I'll get you guys there as soo--"_

_Another flick of her finger and the image blinked out again. Meanwhile, Ron had his face buried in his hands. He'd screwed up. As usual, he'd said the completely wrong thing and now she didn't even want to go back to her house with him, something they'd done after almost every mission they'd ever been on. He supposed he could leave the clothes behind, he had a half dozen sets just like them, but he'd left his backpack up in her room. _

_He lifted his head, hoping to beg for safe return of his school books, and noticed that Kim didn't have her back to him anymore. His mouth dropped open at the look in her eyes and she seemed to think that was all the invitation she needed as she launched herself at him, creatively sealing his mouth shut using only her lips. _

OOOOO**whoosh**OOOOO

Temporary Author's Note: Okay, I really wanted this posted tonight, so I don't have time to do a full spiel, here. That'll come within the next few days, hopefully. Until I have the time to mention you all, thanks very much to anyone who reviewed.

Blessed be,  
-Brother Bludgeon


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